RL Grrr

[feng_shui_house]

Really, if I would gather up my courage in both hands and learn to drive, that would remove the last BIG HORRIBLE chore that he has to sacrifice his freedom to stay and do for me and he could then cut loose, buy a motorcycle, drive to Alaska, etc. all his dreams that *I* am preventing him from doing.

Ok, I'm hot... but please understand I have no one to talk to except him, so it does tend to overflow onto you guys.

Anyway, yesterday while I was at the dentist he invited an 'old girlfriend' over. He got high as a kite, was bumbling around with white powder clotting his nose, rooting around in various rooms looking for I don't know what, leaving lights on in closets, rummaging through my linens for something to use as a disposable cover for his table (I don't want to know what happened to the cover that was on the table) etc. He never *once* mentioned that she was staying the night. He didn't get up until 2:30pm. She's *still* here.

I got up at 8, cleaned the kitchen, went out and chopped a tree stump for an hour, wrote 2 stories, watered the plants in the front, emailed the realtor about my aunt, called a company for an estimate on windows and doors for ehouse, and made a batch of gluten-free chocolate chip cookies (which are hidden in my computer room, because he can damn well buy his own cookies from the grocery rather than take a handful of my expensive, hard to get, have to wait for the ingredients to come by mail and then make them myself, ccs and then *bitch* because they're not good enough for him and throw them away.)

At 3:30 I'm going for a drink of koolaid and he comes out and gets ANNOYED because I did not fill up the catfood dispenser in the back room and had the NERVE to take a bag of catfood and put it in the room where *I* feed the cats. THAT'S THE ONLY RESPONSIBILITY he has LEFT for the cats. I fill up a plate of food in my computer room and keep water for them in my bedroom, but I'll be da**ed if I'm going to fill up yet another one which he only has to fill up Once a Week, because I keep mine filled every day, so his goes down very slowly.

So he gets angry and mutters about 'crazy bitches' when I tell him that's his one job and he can do it. 'Would it kill you to be courteous and fill the bowl?' Da** it, I wash every stinking pot he uses when he cooks stuff I can't eat, I load the dishwasher (he's kind, the stuff usually gets to the sink), I unload the dishwasher, I take out the kitchen garbage, I *should* have taken out the trash last night but I foolishly thought he would do it, I clean the catboxes & feed the outside cats and the inside cats (including his three) etc.

So, his 'responsibilities' are: keeping one cat food dispenser stocked. Mowing the lawn every month or two, whether it needs it or not (I really should go do it today). *Chauffeuring* me to such exotic locales as the grocery (wherein 3/4 of the bill is for him), the dentist (once every 6 months), and the home supply store (maybe once a month, if he happens to be sober for 4 days in a row and manages to get up before noon, because after noon the traffic is too terrible for him to face.)
I HAVE to learn to drive, sell the car I bought on his insistence that he'd fix it, get a new vehicle (can't get a used one because it'd be bound to need some work & I do not know a mechanic I could trust). Shall look up driving schools on Monday. I was putting it off not only because of nervousness, but because I wanted to be here to handle calls from various of the plates I have in the air (Mixed metaphor!) and also because I'm scared spitless what he'll do in my absence for a few hours each day.

*sigh* I really do wish that mom hadn't stuck me with him. I'd so much rather have to hire taxis & handymen (not like he's done a damn thing in months. He resented it *bitterly* when I stripped the wallpaper from the kitchen and prepared it for painting because OMG he tells everyone he's a painter! And so if he doesn't do it, people will look at the UNPROFESSIONAL job I DID and it will reflect badly on HIM! So he WAS FORCED to spend a couple hours painting the kitchen!

Grrr... ok, enough ranting. *smile* *SMILE*... Yes... Avon... think of Avon... think of Puppie...awww... much better. I am calm.

EDIT: I mowed front and back and the verge (usually bro breaks this up into three separate chores over a month or more.) I has got a blister. Drat. I think it's from the ax. Not much of the stump left, I may work on easier stuff until my blister heals. Fortunately it's not on a typing area. :^)

Am taking a bath along with volume 3 & 4 of the Belgariad. Don't think I'll read them both. Doubt I'll even read much of 3, but I like the luxury of extras.

My gluten free chocolate chip cookies *STILL* taste good even though they're no longer hot. I added extra sugar & chocolate chips to the mix. They are crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside and loaded with chocolate...mmmmmm...

Comments

[kalinda001.livejournal.com]

*BIG HUG*

while I was at the dentist he invited an 'old girlfriend' over...He didn't get up until 2:30pm. She's *still* here.
Oh I hope that this isn't the one you specifically told him that she could not stay for a couple of weeks...

Keep ranting...it's good to let it out =)

[entropy-house.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's the one! He asked 'when he finally got up at 2pm after doing drugs all night' and I said no. He took me to the dentist at 2:30 and before I was finished with my appointment she was here!

I am so sick of him.

[k-haldane.livejournal.com]

Or you could just cut straight to using taxis now - you don't have to learn to drive yourself in order to release him from the chore of driving you. Tell him you've solved it, and he can feel free to follow his dreams now.

Then call a locksmith and change all the house locks the minute he's out, or for certain he'll be back to freeload off of you indefinitely.

[entropy-house.livejournal.com]

You read my mind! I'm thinking to call a cab tomorrow to take me to the grocery store. I wonder if they cost more on Saturday? I also wonder if I can get the guy to promise to pick me up in an hour...mmm...better not buy anything really perishable in case I have to call for pickup. Or at least, if I buy a pint of ice cream I should also buy some plastic spoons so I can eat it while I wait. :^)

And I thought longingly of the locksmith as well. Unfortunately, bro's full of hot air about 'his dreams'. He has no ambition, drive, or follow through on even the simplest things. Several times I have told him, Go, I'll take cabs, I'll be fine, but he refused, always using the 'you can't drive' excuse.

So that's what I have to cut out from under him.

[roj-blake.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[entropy-house.livejournal.com]

*hugs Blake and is comforted* Have a cookie?

[shimere277.livejournal.com]

I can only imagine what will happen to him when you sell the house and he has to fend for himself. Take the cabs for now, but do learn how to drive. It will introduce a whole new dimension of freedom.

[entropy-house.livejournal.com]

He's going to be *awfully* surprised when he discovers I've withdrawn my promise to always let him have a room in whatever house I own. That was before I found out he was lying about being relatively clean and only using pot.

At this point, I don't care what happens to him. To mom he was the Prince I was ordered to coddle nearly my whole life (starting about when I was 9) because 'he has low self-esteeem' and upsetting him would make him turn to drugs, so I was told to keep quiet about him stealing (not that I ever had much money, but sometimes I'd sell a teddy bear, or save up to buy a new cartridge for my Intellivision- I gave up on that when he took all the single dollars, and all the quarters from my coin bank leaving a scattering of dimes, nickels and pennies), from me (forget about ever getting it back, it was my fault for not hiding my purse/coin bank and it was my fault he was sick with dope because he couldn't have got it if I'd been more vigilant and I should feel Guilty), and not say anything back when he was nasty because that hurt his feelings, and feel sorry for him, and protect him and once even do his homework for him (three years older than me) and be nice to his few sober friends (date them if necessary to keep them for him-- I went on 2 dates with a guy I found absolutely repellent and when he French kissed me I wanted to throw up- I came in the house and told mom flat out she made me feel like a whore (even tho the Kiss was all that happened) and I was never doing that again...you know, enough is enough.

*erm* sorry, way too much information there, much of it going back to the dawn of history, and better left lying under the dust.

[miwahni.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's good just to let it all out. Sounds as though you've been propping him up for years, both his ego and financially.

[entropy-house.livejournal.com]

Decade. My latest post is getting interesting. I'm waiting for the cops to come to tell him I want him to leave.

http://entropy-house.livejournal.com/537816.html

[miwahni.livejournal.com]

Yep - I was scrolling backwards through my flist and saw that entry first. I'll be checking in during the evening, seeing if you're okay.

[entropy-house.livejournal.com]

I usually backwards scroll myself. It's easier.