Happy Birthday to me...

[feng_shui_house]

I had a nice day planned, a bit of gardening, some Spoonflower designing, bake a gluten free King Arthur cake mix I got at the grocery, a little recreational sewing, organizing the sewing & photo calendars I've done into packages to mail to the few people left on my mailing list.

Then my oldest brother phoned. *deep sigh* I could hear the judgemental vibes with the first hello. He & his wife moved to what SHE called an assisted living community, but when I mentioned that it was NO we just go to lunch at the center, we're on our own. Then it led to him going on about my life, no friends/relatives nearby/. I should move, I should sign up with the police and fire to check in on me, I should hire people to dispose of my excess stuff so I could move to assisted living place (For ME that's fine, apparently).

I tell him I do not want to hire people to dispose of my stuff. I've been a collector all my life. His response is that I have 'Hoarder's Disorder' and that I'm going to stay here until I die. Add further ego-destroying remarks.

And I'm just... you call me once a year on my birthday and EVERY time it's judgmental, and orders to do things that are easy for him-- but no assistance offered, no.

I was feeling pretty good about celebrating my birthday up until that. Now I'm spiraling into feeling like a total failure.

ARRGH. I really wish he could at least choose a different day of the year for the beratement. Now I have to calm myself down and start over again.

RAINBOWS. BUTTERFLIES. KITTENS. HOT SHOWERS. CAKE...happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

Comments

[vera_j]

HUGSHUGSHUGSHUGSHUGS and kittens and lion cubs and cute lynx and puppies and roses and peonies in plenty, whole armfuls of them only for you!!!!
Dear, throw away ugly thoughts! You live long and...hahaha, not actually prosper but well and you are a good , lovely person and we love you for what you are! Soooooo...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!

[feng_shui_house]

Thank you! I am indeed throwing away ugly thoughts.

I went out and weeded, with a mockingbird sitting in a bush a few feet away judging me. I said hello to a cat sleeping on my front porch. I watered tiny zinnia seedlings. I read update in a fic I'm enjoying. I put the cake mix on the counter and cleared stuff out of the convection oven so I will remember to do it. I put SCUM-E in the pool to suck up muck. Sunlight and fresh air is always cheering.

I went to AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) and renewed my membership for 5 years so even if I get forgetful they'll still remember to send me magazines and email notices about Old Fart Stuff.

I will continue thinking cheerful stuff.

I have been going to the Cooper Hewitt (Smithsonian) site, and 'harvesting' public domain images of textiles to recreate for my Spoonflower shop. I've Collected (Hoarded, pfft, yes, Ok, I am a dragon) a lot, and so far have rescued 6 of them from broken, faded, discolored, oblivion and restored them to new life.

This is the most recent- I'm very pleased with it. The original was a designer's 'cartoon' that is, the motifs fully drawn and colored with a hint as to the proposed repeat. Very gray and dull with the backing paper a muddy stained mess with pencil marks etc. Took a day to get it fixed up.

Unfortunately Spoonflower Automated Bowdlerizer thinks that BLUE TITS (the common name for the very accurately drawn birds) is naughty, so I had to replace **** with TITS (but then I thought maybe the automated will go back and asterisk me again). I complained to their Help dept. and hope they reply on Monday to let me show my tits. :^)

https://www.spoonflower.com/en/fabric/20919332

[vera_j]

Well done, you. Oh, I love the tits and why the hell should the blue tits be naughty?
But hey, you are an excellent fighter and that that!!!

[feng_shui_house]

My tits aren't ashamed of themselves. They are proud tits. :^)

I just cut up a fresh pineapple I got at the grocery. I intended to plant the cut off top- I always do - it makes a pretty plant even if they ever fruit. BUT THEN I saw these tiny dark SEEDS. OMG, Imma gonna put them in a pot with nice compost and see if anything happens.

[vera_j]

Ha! Knowing you, soon youo will weed the pineapples!!!

[feng_shui_house]

Yes! PINEAPPLES everywhere. They will take over the world.

We could have worse overlords. :^)

[watervole]

All I can say is that if you stay where you are until you die (as long as your health enables you to do so) then, all power to your elbow!


why on Earth should you leave somewhere where you are happy!
It's your damn stuff. Enjoy it!

I know that trying to part me from my garden would destroy a great part of what I love.

You go right on as you are, baby!

[feng_shui_house]

Thank you! My neighborhood would have no butterflies without my weed lovers yard.

I now have CAKE. Life is good. I'm not putting any frosting on it. Cake doesn't need to hide. :^)

[chanter1944]

... Oh, jeez. :( I know he's your brother, and family linkages are an important thing, but I'd be seriously tempted to block his number. If it's an emergency, he can presumably leave you a voicemail and you'll get it.

[feng_shui_house]

He generally only calls a very few times a year, my birthday and sometimes Christmas so I put up with it. If he called more often blocking would be really tempting.

[conuly]

His response is that I have 'Hoarder's Disorder' and that I'm going to stay here until I die.

What's wrong with staying in your home until you die? Did I miss some sort of memo?

[feng_shui_house]

I guess so! I mean, it's not like I'm a shark and I'd suffocate if I stopped moving.

[feng_shui_house]

Hah! I forgot that google would celebrate my birthday in a very minimal way. I went to search for something and the little account circle with my initial was doing tiny color bits. I clicked on it, and it gave me some confetti and balloons. That was cute.

[vilakins]

I wouldn't take his call. What a bastard to ring up just to make you miserable.

[feng_shui_house]

It was so tempting just to not take it, let him think whatever. But I went, well, he is my brother, how bad can it be?

I guess I have enough time in between calls to forget just how annoyed I get.

[thisbluespirit]

Aw, belated happy birthday, and so sorry about the family negativity! *hugs*

[feng_shui_house]

Thanks! *HUGS*

[sallymn]

He sounds like an absolute pain - I tend to try and avoid relatives who think they know how to live my life better than me too.

I hope things get better and you have a nice time soon.

[feng_shui_house]

Thank you! I did cheer up. And last night I remembered that not only did I make chocolate cake, but the day before I made coconut ice cream.

I could make ice cream sandwiches! :^) Have to remember to do that.

[sallymn]

I'm glad!

[feng_shui_house]

Cake is happiness. :^) Add ice cream and it is joy. :^)